The comment part 3- Nine years of love

Over a year ago, I got this comment:

The Anti-Jared's Proud Wife said...

I've been reading my wonderful husband's blog for a few months now, and during that same time I've watched him come alive in a way that would make anyone smile. He's happier, healthier, has more energy than most people I know and is loving life. I love him and I am so proud of him for making incredibly smart choices every day.
To anyone who doesn't believe in the success or power of the changes he has made in his life, well, too bad. You're missing out. My husband and I are going to have a wonderfully, long healthy life together. I've said for months that I have WW to thank for that, but really, I have my husband to thank.
All our friends and family who have seen him evolve into a new man over the last 8 months are amazed. Anyone who eats dinner with him for the first time at home or at a restaurant ends up reconsidering what and how they're eating.
My best friend came to town this weekend; she hasn't seen my husband in person in over a year. She'd seen this blog and his pictures. She'd heard me brag about how proud I am. She heard me check and see if there were "snacks" she wanted me to pick up for our weekend other than the fruit, veggies and fiber-filled food that fills our cupboards. I'll speak for her and say, she was truly amazed.
It really doesn't matter whether or not you believe what I've witnessed. It only matters what my amazing husband and I know--he did this for himself and for us and for the rest of our lives.

10/12/08 10:06 PM

Nine years ago today, I met my wife.

I met her on a blind date

Which is funny, because I hate surprises

The blind date was at a bar.

Which is funny because I do not drink.

I knew the moment I met her I would spend the rest of my life with her.

Which is not that funny, but very true.

If you ask 100 people the meaning of love, you will get 100 answers.

So here is my take.

Love is not Valentine's Day.
Love is not Birthday's.
Love is not Christmas.

Those are easy. You know in advance to be sweet. You know you need to get a gift or take someone out to dinner.

To me, love is the hard day. The hard year. The times when you want to run away, yet you stand by someone's side.

It is the day you move to Buffalo because your "girlfriend" wants to be close to her family.
Love is trying to help your "fiance" lose weight while he is on his way to 420 pounds.
Love is learning together how to raise a beautiful baby boy.

My wife and I have made many sacrifices over the last nine years. We never dwell on them.

What we do is make each other better.

That is love.

I see so many people in unhappy relationships who think to themselves

"I wonder what I could have had?"

I think

"Man, I know what I could have lost!"

My wife never made a meal for me during my weight loss or maintenance.
She never worked out with me.
She has never gone to a WW meeting with me.

Yet, I could not have lost the weight without her.

For nine years she has made me a better person. She has pulled the inspiration and encouragement out of me. She saw "theantijared" when I was 420 pounds. When no one else saw it.

So today when we woke up, I looked out the window and got a little upset.

"You know, John (my neighbor) really needs to take care of his yard or I am calling the HOA!"

My wife looked out the window and with a puzzled look said:

"You are crazy. John's yard looks awesome!"

Yeah, but it does not compare to the really green grass on my side.

The comment part 2- A Prior's Passion for Perfection

A few months ago, I received this comment:

priorfatgirl's mom said...

You are right...we sure can point out what we don't love.
Thanks for the reminder
Kim

7/22/09 10:09 AM

What would you do if you woke up one day and your life changed?

What used to be left was right.

What was up now was down.

What was right was now wrong.

How would you react?

How strong would you be?

I think about Jen's passion every day.

I think about the amount of strength she has to live her life although the most special part was taken tragically.

I think about her courage.

I think about how she is strong for the people around her. For her father, for the man she loves. How she is an inspiration to her sisters and her followers.

I read her blog and admire her more and more.

She is right, no one would care if she skipped the gym. No one would care if she ate Kit Kat after Kit Kat.

I would not judge. Jen's courage is amazing. Her journey is amazing, beyond the weight loss.

Yet, she does care. The beautiful girl looking in the mirror in Minneapolis cares.

And that is important. That is inspiring. That is fantastic.

Jen, I love your blog. I think you are a strong human being. I think you are beyond inspiring.

You have helped me know there is more to life than weight loss. So much more

I am also confident that there is one person who might not comment on your blog anymore, but is so amazingly proud of the person you have become.

Just like the girl who looks in the mirror day in and day out is. Keep winning the fight of life.

The Comment Part One: Weight Loss With Blinders On

I received this comment a few days ago:

Anonymous said...
Your blog is spot on.However, you have to give the real Jared credit, he lost a bunch of weight (though didn't put on the muscle you have put on) and has kept it off for more than a decade and he has turned himself into a brand and likely makes a good income for himself and his family. Not too shabby.It seems you are also trying to create a brand. You won't "sell out" to a corporation. It looks like you are trying to create a brand based on your personality which will eventually generate some income for you and your family. Again, not too shabby.How come we haven't seen any pics (perhaps I have missed them) since 8/21? I suspect the next set of pics is going to show a very lean and ripped muscular person (not that you aren't pretty close in your 8/21 picture) so that you can say you are one of the few to not only lose 200+ lbs but create a body builder physique at the same time (naturally).I think you have a business plan (brand defined by 200+ lb weight loss while working in a restaurant not eating in one, maintained for 24 months, very muscular but not muscle-bound build, done naturally and simply though not easily, straight talker but still humble, devoted family man, and not afraid to make people angry) and as a true capitalist, I respect that.Though I respect your lifestyle change and results more -- I have made acceptable progress in the last 6 months but have 3-4 months to go to fit into my goal clothes and I only have an outline for a maintenance plan -- still need to complete the mind shift that the habits I have now are basically what I need to do forever.Thanks for taking the time to write this blog.I look forward to the day when some TV show figures this out and has you and Jared on at the same time. Though I don't think Subway would allow that.
10/28/09 1:26 PM

I have read this over 100 times. At first I did not understand why it was anonymous.

It was very complimentary.

After reading it a few times, I loved the fact that it was anonymous, because so many people think this.

In fact, at one point I thought it as well.

Yet, it is very far from the truth.

When I weighed in at 198.8 pounds at my Weight Watchers meeting, I truly thought there would be balloons and confetti coming from the ceiling.

I was the "long shot", the 400 pound guy who lost over 220 pounds and changed his life.

I thought that the CEO of Weight Watchers would come out and shake my hand, and give me a key to the Weight Watchers city of Onederland.

I thought my leader would have called my family who would all be there, and they would have offered me a leader job.

I thought different news media outlets would be there to interview me about my weight loss.

Yet, all I got was a sweet comment from 87 year old Ethel, which was:

"Woot!"

When I left the meeting, I thought the clouds would part and there would be a beautiful rainbow.

I thought "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey would be blasting.

I thought that the birds would sing, and everything would make sense.

Yet, it was raining, no music was heard, and nothing made sense.

Honestly, after losing over 200 pounds, I felt like the world owed me something. I beat all the odds. I changed my life.

When I would see a success story on the Today Show, or one in Weight Watchers Magazine, it would frustrate me.

I mean, they lost 150 pounds, I lost 221.4 pounds!

What about me? I have sent you my story. Why are you over looking me?

That anonymous comment made me realize how foolish I am. I never got it. I never understood.

People who say that "Weight loss is a marathon not a race" do not understand weight loss.

Weight loss is neither.

You train for a marathon. You run a race. Then you cross the line, slow down and throw your hands in the air.

"Yes! I did it."

There is no finish line for weight loss. Once you hit your goal the journey has just begun. Once you hit the finish line, you realize you crossed the starting point.

I have a good job. I have a great family. I can do things now that I could never do. I do not want to be a full time weight loss blogger.

I just want to be normal.Something that I deserve.

I also love writing on this blog. I do believe that no one will be able to tell my story better than I would.

So whoever wrote that comment, I do say thank you.

You have sparked a new flame inside of me.

And you will learn a lot about me in the next few posts. What scares me, what inspires me, and why I will succeed.

Mega-Crazy-Fit-Her/Him-Blogoganza 2012 Part 1

Move over Roni and Blogher!

Are you ready for Mega-Crazy-Fit-Her/Him-Blogoganza 2012!

Well, since I never get asked to the Blogging Proms (Blogher and FitBloggin) I have decided to make up my own! Kind of like the USFL to the NFL. Well, actually, kind of like tag football to the NFL.

I am going to have my own conference. It will be a two day affair at the lovely TGI Friday's down the road from me. You do not need tickets, just make sure you order an appetizer when you come in. I hear the Pot Stickers are to die for!

Now, my conference is going to have a start studded cast of people speaking. Actually, I do not have anyone yet. But I am going to ask a few of your favorite bloggers to come out at talk about different topics.

Day 1-

Theantijared (The only one that I know will come out)-

Talk about how to turn off comments
How to make a 750 word post over an anonymous comment
Favorite apples
Jared vs. Tony
How to write a letter to Weight Watchers and blog about it over 75 times
The importance of double spacing

Since that will take up 30 minutes, I need to invite other speakers (This is the first round of invites, there will be more soon):

Invited so far to speak:

Jack Sh*t-
The importance of the * between the h and t
How to apologize to famous musical artists

Carlos-
How to use words like "F*ckt*attle" in a blog
Slurpees- Fact or Fiction

The Fabulous Fatties-
How to share a Twitter account
How to use the word FABULOUS in everything

Fat Daddy-
How to Rant!
Did I mention how to Rant!

Lyn-
Actually, I really do wish that FitBloggin and Blogher would ask you to speak. It is amazing how you put your life into such beautiful words. I just put you in because you are my friend (like everyone else on here) and I did not want to leave you out.

Diana-
Airports=Yuck!!!

Tricia-
How to buy a $2 Halloween outfit and be the toast of the town
Is it a good thing to be the "toast of the town" in Vegas?

Brandi-
TURBOKICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you ready!
Is Manhattan KS the same as Manhattan NY?

Now these are just a few people I am inviting to speak.

There will be more later this week, hence the part one. Lets make this a rootin tootin rockin fun time. Maybe I will even buy the first round of cheese fries.

Do you want to come? Tell me what you would talk about.

My life in pictures

Ahhhhem, where do I start. Oh yeah, my name is um, Tony, and I am um..........hold on. Let me get my notes out so I say exactly what I am feeling, although that cake looks tasty!

That is much better! My name is Tony Posnanski and I was over 400 pounds. I have been overweight my whole life doing diet after diet. I am not lazy, yet I was not very motivated. Living was hard, and it seems like food was the only enjoyment I have.
That is a shame I thought living was hard because I have a wonderful family, a great wife, and a beautiful baby boy.
Well, in February of 2008, I went to the doctor who told me I needed to make a change or I would not be on this Earth for very long. What do I do? I have dieted forever, why would this time be different?
Because I will not diet. I will change what I eat. I will be active, and I will become a better person.

So I said goodbye to being over 400 pounds in 2008.

And said hello to November 2009. Over 200 pounds lost, and the pictures to prove it.

5%

Well, tomorrow is Halloween. You know what that means.....

The end of 2009 weight goal dreams!

Well, it does not have to be.

Here is how it always went for me in the past

I would promise myself that I would not eat a lot of candy on Halloween.

I would make this promise, yet buy 10 pounds of Kit Kats to give out when only three kids came to my house.

After eating all the leftover Kit-Kats, I would make unfair deals with the neighborhood kids:

"I will eat your Twix and leave you the delicious Sweet Tarts!"
"Crunch Bars are gross! I will take those from you, and leave you that Double Bubble Gum!"

At the end, the "Fun Size" candies would amount to 6000 calories.

I would beat myself up, yet still have a Kit Kat wafer hanging out of my mouth.

Then I would try to get back on track. Never really did, but Thanksgiving was around the corner.

I remember going on the Internet and looking for great low calorie dishes to make for the festive holiday.

Every one of those dishes had green beans in it.

I would promise myself that this Thanksgiving would be different.

I would make that dish, and brag to everyone that I have Thanksgiving all figured out!

Then at the end of Thanksgiving, I still had a full bowl of green beans. Why you might ask...

The reason is that everyone else made classic items. Butter and Sugar galore!

I would say "only a bite", yet consume over 6000 calories.

I would try to get back on track, but Christmas/Hanukkah was around the corner.

I would try to tell myself that "Christmas/Hanukkah is about family and being around friends."

Yet, 6000 calories later, I was ready for January 1st with resolutions in hand, and 30 more pounds around the waist.

I would beat myself up for 60 days. Thinking I was weak, wondering why I could not do the "healthy lifestyle" thing.

Maybe I am the only one who has gone through this cycle.

Now, every day is the same for me. I learned about consistency.

But that is not everyone. So here is my advice, the advice I wish I would have listened to.

Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are three days. Basically , it is three days out of the final two months of the year.

That is 5% of the rest of the year.

Three days will not make anyone gain 30 pounds.

So enjoy those three days, guilt free! Eat what you want. Do not fool yourself with low calorie options. Eat the candy and your favorite items.

Concern yourselves with the other 57 days of 2009.

Weight Loss Advice

People who are successful with weight loss or fitness gurus love to give advice.

They want everyone to lose weight as well, so they just throw it out there.

Drink more water, it will make you feel full.
35 grams of fiber a day. Did you know most people only have around 8 grans a day?
Six small meals will help you feel full.

You have heard it all before. We all have.

Well, I was no different. When people would email me for advice, I would give the same generic information.

Yes, I lost 200 pounds by watching my Caaaaaarbs, and increased my Pro-teeeeiiiiinnnnn. Eggcellent! Hence the Egg!

Then something changed. I realized why I was different.

I heard a comment that someone made at a Weight Watchers meeting.
Then I heard it on the Today show from someone who lost over 150 pounds.
The last straw was when I was listening to Valerie Bertinelli getting interviewed and she said the same advice.

That piece of advice was:

"Remember, the first bite is the best. It will never be as good after that!"

That is when I realized that weight loss advice is stupid.

The whole reason I gained over 200 pounds is because the second bite is just as delicious as the third and fourth.
And then when I was done, I was looking in the refrigerator for more.

"God-Dammit!!! I know we have more Nutter Butters!

People hear that stuff and think "You know, they have a point. Why didn't I think of that!"

They are really thinking "Nah, it is still darn delicious!"

Maybe it is just me.

I mean, I hear people tell me:

"I can not believe I just ate a Big Mac!"

Where I hold one in my hand and say:

"Wow. These were much bigger in 1996. I better order two."

Sometimes I look at my wife and baby and wish I could be more mainstream. I lost over 200 pounds and transformed my body. I look different than most weight losers. I was over 400 pounds last February!

I wish I could believe that you could use the 35 Weight Watchers Points for anything.

If I did, they would have called or emailed me.

I wish I could believe that Jillian Michaels was inspiring.

If I did, then maybe I would have an email relationship with her.

I wish I lost my weight on a strict portion control diet.

If I did, then I could call Jared and get a sponsorship from Subway.

I changed the way I live my life.

I have maintained my weight for almost all of 2009. I did it by, and say it with me.....

Eating fruits, vegetables, and lean meats and working out with free weights

If I did not change the way I ate, and just lowered my calories while eating the same foods, I would be 303 pounds right now. I would be looking for anything to keep myself from getting back to 400+ pounds:

"What pill was that?"
"Challenge, oh I am so in!"
"I am going to get back on track tomorrow!"

I know this, I have done it for twenty years.

My portions would get larger and larger, and I would try anything to keep the weight off that I lost.

Yet, I have stayed the same.

Why, because I am different than I was.

I am okay with eliminating certain foods from my life. I do not remember them being delicious, but rather helping me not be able to live my life.

I still love working out. The foods I eat give me energy. Not make me feel bloated or sluggish.

I will never give generic weight loss advice. I have tried, and sounded like a goober every time.

I am not going to belittle you by telling you to move a little.

You should know that. I should have known that.

I am not going to tell you to eat less.

You should know that. I should have.

In fact, I am horrible with advice.

What I am brilliant with is waking up every day and maintaining.

Making sure I make choices I have known about for the last twenty years, yet now have the courage to practice.

Not fooling myself with a low calorie chocolate muffin that I will eat seven of.

So if you want advice, I am not the best person to ask.

Unless you look at my pictures on the right, they speak for themselves.